Monday, May 30, 2005
been waiting for this song for so long.. onli reason why i listen to 933 is just hoping to hear it..
so wad if i hear it now.. im not even happy at all.. i dont even enjoy the song..
they used to play it sooo often.. but now its like so ultra rare..
sometimes u dont always get wad u want.. though u usually get wadever u want..
wadever
girl, you gotta have attitude
11:10:00 PM
i noe im being veri bad these days.. its not like i want it.. haix i noe theres no use saying all these crap but still be veri bad to u.. sometimes its just not within my control.. also dunno why im so hostile n easily irritated.. n feel soooo sian.. really really bad pms..
demanding alot from u.. want u to give in to me all the time.. dote on me..
haix really din expect u'll go tmr morn.. oh well.. im sorry..
bleh i bet the whole world will think im soooooo bad to u.. well i still trust my frens~
pls take care of urself.. i dunno why im coughing.. guess its a stoopid idea to protect my back but feel so freaking cold.. oh well.. hope didnt cause u to be sick walking all around 2dae.. thanks for being there for me though i kept niaoing some crap apples~ (no offence jielin..)
girl, you gotta have attitude
10:44:00 PM
Monday, May 23, 2005
this is so stoopid..
cuz of a stoopid reason i refuse to meet u.. so end up i didnt study at home..
after dinner i have no choice but i hafta try to complete my work
n obviously i will feel sleepy n not want to do
so i decided to be determined n do my maths..
n my throat is so uncomfortable i ate 1 lozenges
and i realise it will make u feel 'drowsy'
=(
how can i do my work...
haix sick of not completing my work.. but im still so slack
girl, you gotta have attitude
7:28:00 PM
haha nu ren.. i felt so much better reading ur blog.. wahaha.. u remind me again.. haix i love that dress manx.. haha maybe i shld work hard to gain weight so that i'll look gd in dresses! lol.. yeah im looking forward to june hols so that i can go shopping!
guess theres alot of miscommunication.. i was quite upset this morn abt the stoopid bfast.. its like some false hope kinda thg.. n since i don intend to eat bfast i just went back to slp.. haven been slping much these days.. felt worse when i went to the doc n they kinda like just nice just close.. haix shld have known they close b4 1.. oh well.. ya so it was kinda screwed up day..
been kinda troubled when to 'train'.. in the sense prepare myself for trials.. n i cant decide when to run b4 hand so that i don hafta go for the trials on tues.. its like these few days cant run in sch.. dowan to go down spe myself.. been quite sian n just tired.. so yes.. im not gonna care abt all sorts of shit.. i am not going to regret this decision.. I AM NOT GOING TO RUN ANIMORE.. haix the most pon to go down watch nats loh.. why torture myself.. think so much.. might strain my knee.. no ice lemon tea.. stop confusing myself animore.. im just gonna get out of sch n heck the trials.. i have alot of dreams.. i gotta choose which one i want to realise.. i've achieved much from track.. miracles don happen all the time.. n i've made one possible.. i wanna have all the great and happy memories from track.. so yep i shall not make myself unhappy..
haha n i wanna take care of my knee so that i can do all sorts of fun sport i want n i wanna dance!! n i wont make pple worry n sad cuz of this..
GROW FAT GROW FAT GROW FAT
1. Have sufficient sleep. make sure i sleep by 11 every nite.
2. Dont stress myself out. make sure i know my priorities. make sure i do my work. manage my time well.
3. Eat at regular times. eat more meat. eat some veg too. eat fruits. drink the peel fresh veg/wheat grass drink.
4. Exercise regularly. 3 times a week. hmm includes PE heh. n i can swim n tan. don hafta take care of muscles n stop swimming b4 nats.
5. Stay happy! yea i guess i can.. see i so kan de kai so fast get over the silly track alr.
any more tips?
girl, you gotta have attitude
2:44:00 PM
Thursday, May 19, 2005
struggling with my inner self..
nv felt so troubled and so defeated.. i noe deep in me i wanna run.. i dont care whether im unfit or wadever.. i never thot i could even get anythg near gold for napfa.. but i've achieved it.. much better than i expected.. i just need tt bit of confidence.. the will power in me to keep going.. to believe in myself.. tell myself i can do it.. keep pulling, keep running, tell myself i can do it..
it doesnt concern me at all.. make it a pt to come down to meet mr chay.. somehow after shemin told me tt the details are out.. im going to the notice board everyday.. every morn 1st thing i do when i step into sch.. i just went to the notice board.. subconsciously.. 67 seconds.. a timing that i thot i could easily beat.. perhaps now that im more unfit.. i hafta really push myself to meet tt timing..
looking at my old notebook.. the page where i kept all my track records.. 400m pb.. how i fought hard and achieved the impossible.. how my timing improved so miraculously.. how i got a place in the 4x4 team.. how the trackers encouraged me.. really miss the times.. looking at what u pple wrote in my notebook.. "we are the champions" how we fought for overall champ.. "always look on the bright side of life" the stoopid advert.. how brother encouraged me when i was affected by r'ship stuff n just any crap..
if i dont take part.. i wont be part of the track team.. not anymore.. im officially out of the sa track team long long ago.. i wont be able to go down for nats.. imagine after 5 yrs.. how tt feels.. i have nth to do with the team.. just some kpo ard.. i have no reason to be down.. nobody gives a d shit abt me..
nobody can understand how much pain this is.. its like u losing someone close to u.. cant be with the person u love.. ya wadever crap.. oh well i noe u're there with me.. care for me.. but im really sorry i dont think u'll understand wad im going thru.. i was really feeling veri troubled.. but im glad at least u cheered me up.. i dowan to let u worry.. but i really cant convince myself not to even try..
its as though someone is telling me dont be afraid.. just run.. nothing will happen to me.. i'll be protected..
never felt so lousy.. its just not me.. i'll always do whatever i wanted to.. esp abt realising my dreams.. whats happening now..
[confused]
can someone just enlighten me...
girl, you gotta have attitude
8:24:00 PM
Friday, May 13, 2005
shall keep it short n sweet..
just called gaigai.. hmm guess 2dae been thru quite alot with u.. during the talk with baba can see how much u are into it.. hmm u noe wad i mean.. just wanted to call u to let u noe i'll always be there with u.. guess its a hard time for u now.. understand how it feels.. but hope u'll be strong! thgs will be fine k..
jing zhong ren last episode was great manx.. gd twist though some parts quite expected.. the way they portray it.. really provoke the kinda feeling.. hmm oh well.. guess those who watch will noe.. really scary n exciting.. n the ending is just so touching laa.. k lah emotional girl here..
healthcare talk really make me feel more motivated to work towards my dream.. yep im really veri veri certain that is what i want.. i'll work hard!
feel a stronger need to do sth for the class alr.. arghx kena brainwashed laaaa.. but well.. its gd afterall haha
yep guess i noe wad i hafta do.. this weekend is super busy laaa.. dunno how i'll manage with my tuts n work.. shall stay positive!
i will make sure my life turns out well.. the way i want it to be.. i am in control and im certain abt that.. n i will not do anythg to ruin my xingfu.. guess jess woke me up even though at tt pt of time when i kept thinking abt it was really angry with u.. oh well.. still treat u as a great pal whom i can talk to! n most importantly i'll prove that i am capable of handing all my roles n responsibilities..
can feel the differenence in ideologies.. bleh.. but well i guess i'll just learn.. i can see the change in us during this ard 5 mths.. guess its going a good direction
girl, you gotta have attitude
10:13:00 PM
Sunday, May 08, 2005
just watched the repeat telecast of the state funeral.. its really so grand(cant think of a gd word).. can really feel how much the country honour him.. really admire Dr Wee for wad he has done.. guess by now everyone will noe more or less all the great stuff abt him.. was especially touched when his granddaughter talked abt he n his wife.. guess they really supported each other and came a long way.. well.. really admire his effort to touch pple's life.. to try his veri best to care for pple.. guess it was right for them to say theres love in everythg he does..
feel the urge to read his book.. guess theres lotsa precious lessons in it.. somehow 2dae as i watch CNA.. theres alot of those political stuff.. like do ur part for the country n stuff.. but well.. maybe tts one of the thgs we shld achieve in our lives?
kinda like reminded me to live my life to the fullest.. to reach out to the different grps of pple in the society.. watched up close this morn.. fellow ny gal jiehui in the prog.. so proud of her! oh well.. i guess ny has nurtured us in a way tt im really proud of.. really gd education.. produce pple who are effective communicators i believe.. n many who can contribute to our society.. seriously i dowan to waste all my yrs of education just being some ordinary creature on earth n waste my life.. n tt day the overseas education talk enlightened me abt practicality n not wasting ur effort n $$ just to stay at home after soooo many yrs of education.. u think its practical to spend so much $ on studies just for interest sake? u need to work too gal.. so yep guess i gotta plan my life again n not just stay at home take care of children haha
yep yep.. nth is impossible.. seriously like his granddaughter said.. Dr Wee has got like soooo many thgs (forgot the number she used.. but u get the idea.. PRESIDENT!) on his mind but he can make it a pt to pay attn to pple ard him.. yep i'll try to take the extra effort too.. haha obviously im not tt capable but i'll still try.. im not alone.. hmm gotta plan my time well.. plan my life well.. i'll study hard.. rmb the nyp scholarship? i came to sa to have a fulfilling 2 yrs n as promised still get reasonably gd results.. yep i'll move on to my occupational therapy course.. n do my part to help those pple! shall see when i can go help pple too.. haha jielin tt day when i read ur blog i really got the strong urge to go salvation army with u guys! oh well.. haha they provide vomitting facilities after all.. opps.. oh well.. shall make the most out of interact..
-inspired-
=)
ya lah i will go run, swim, exercise (shopping included?? okie window-shopping then..) lead a healthy lifestyle.. haha choose to listen to the nice doctor.. eat more meat!! erm then ya slp well.. haha im supposed to be sleeping now but im just too inspired.. oh well.. im just kinda high now.. hmm.. tmr is a long day.. gotta pay attn in class n make use of my fm break to do work.. hmm dunno got 2.4 notx.. maybe got hope of achieving my 29 pts! hehe so unexpected since im so unfit.. but well.. nth is impossible! its all in the mind! miracles do happen.. lalaaalaa.. then erm gotta do sth abt the track team cannot dui bu qi my snrs n jnrs.. woohoo hectic day.. so i shall go have my beauty slp now b4 i turn into come ugly freak.. yeah i hope i can wear my contacts alr since i finally got them! hehe..
sweet dreams~
girl, you gotta have attitude
11:27:00 PM
Monday, May 02, 2005
this sucks...
yes i noe wad i wanted to blog abt..
abt my attitude getting from bad to worse..
getting pissed with pple n thgs really easily..
been really bad to pple..
seriously its not me lah.. not as 'civilised' as u think..
oh well the pt is.. often when im in a bad mood i feel d grumpy n i'll like speak in a SUPER suan n irritating way i guess.. like really dowan to talk to the person kinda thg n sound really bu shuang.. my attitude sucks!!!! seriously i think im a VERY bad fren.. okie fine im not trying to emphasise those words but its more of a variable.. so ya u can change it to maybe sth not so nice?
i just need to vent it out.. wadever...
feeling d grumpy la i really hate all these.. hate the headache.. hate having to stay at the comp n worsen my headache.. like doing sth i alr noe will make me feel worse.. having to stay up n cannot slp.. plan to slp after i bathe.. even compromise to use hair dryer.. arrrghx sux just wanna complain the h out of it n like wadever.. hate having no appetite.. hate irregular meals.. hate weird feelings.. hate pms.. hate feeling so helpless that i cannot do anythg to make u feel better.. cannot get thgs done..
sucks...
n i nv even complete a single s that i can go for any lessons tmr..
n bet i'll just die during pe..
woohoo nice day to look forward to..
girl, you gotta have attitude
10:18:00 PM
well.. just shows how much i need u..
blehx feeling super sucky shall just pour everythg out here.. oh well 2dae morn was kinda sian tio cuz of some not veri nice thgs.. shall not mentioned.. really made me felt much much better when u finally said u're going.. but seems like it was a wrong decision.. end up making u feel worse.. oh well.. now like cant really talk to u.. haix just wan u to have some rest.. hesitate to sms u dowan to disturb u.. sianed.. like dunno who to talk to lidat.. super tired n having headache again.. n hafta do the stoopid essay outline.. hate grp work online..
weather is bad.. many pple not feeling well.. so guess its not onli us.. haix dunno how i can make u feel better now.. just hope for the best.. don wish to say more..
lost touch with blogging? wanted to blog the other day but i simply forgot wad i wanted to say.. well.. guess one big thg is.. there was this somehow pathetic sports day.. but it nv failed to make me have this strong urge to wanna run again.. looking at those who i once ran with.. our 4x100 team.. trackers, ex-trackers.. really miss the times.. haix just don wish to repeat myself.. but ya u noe wad im really missing out since i stopped running..
yest was kinda sian when i cant find pple to go out.. maybe i don haf the habit to hang out with frens nowadays.. like how rare or almost never go out with any 12 pple unless after sch.. miss the times when im out n i can just sms someone n she'll just come n spend the day with me.. oh well.. thgs have changed i guess.. hard to find someone who can come out anytime as long as she's free.. don hafta care abt going home for dinner, not able to spend money, travelling, or wadever laa
and maybe from now on i'll just depend on u.. just look at those times when u were away, not feeling well.. luckily those times are rare..
sianed..
girl, you gotta have attitude
9:34:00 PM
