Born into attitude
Asleep at the wheel
Throw all your bullets in the fire
And run like hell
What is the fever?
What ever happened to sweat?

Sunday, February 29, 2004

been such a long time since i update my blog.. hmm.. shall have one to wrap up my febuary.. hahaha.. basically the most major thg that happened recently was the release of o's results on 27 feb.. ya.. thats like really a day that i'll rmb for life.. hahaa.. it's the 1st time in my life that i'm so happy till my tears just fell uncontrollably.. was really so shocked when i saw my humans results.. hmm.. saw eng next so that was like.. wow shocked but not as much as humans.. ya.. n there in ny hall was this mad girl screaming all ard.. really wanted to hug someone.. ya.. n i onli rmb bong was there.. hahaha.. guess i wasnt myself for a moment.. yep.. n gd thg pl was there to help me calculate the stoopid L1R5.. y cant they just print it there.. oh jiayi, u're not the onli one who thinks that lousy 9 at the bottom of the page is L1R5.. when i saw elena's paper i thot that was L1R5 also.. so well.. maybe that's cuz i haf ur genes~

friday was a great time meeting up with frens.. hahaha.. how the 4 of us stand at the door of the hall screaming n hugging each other.. but the pt is we met each other like quite recently? but well.. hahaha.. who cares.. yep.. n saw the 407 pple.. quite sad that after getting results most pple went mad n all of us like disperse le.. nvm.. we'll have a gathering in march hols.. hahaa.. n so happy to see pl again.. after so long.. n her hair is just so super nice.. *jealous* but well.. that kinda hair can nv look nice on me! so nvm lah.. hahaa.. n so happy that jnrs are there so concern abt us also.. thanks sweetie~ btw, if someone is crying cuz she's sad over the results.. she'll most prob not b walking ard.. talking on hp.. hmm.. so don worry lah pple.. i'm okie~

yep.. enuff of those crap on results.. hmm.. n i shall not talk abt choosing jc.. nv thot it's gonna b such a hard decision.. since that day i was like telling pple i'm staying.. well.. i'm not gonna think abt it for the time being.. aniwae i'm always a last minute gal..

hmm.. lotsa thots for 2dae again.. hahaha.. yep.. was like feeling kinda down cuz thot of the past again.. den while smsing a classmate i felt much beta.. met sh 2dae.. quite glad that i wasnt having some weird feelings or wad crap.. just felt that it was all planned.. to make sure that everythg turn out well.. just felt so thankful that i had a gd day 2dae.. yep.. n i could feel that thgs have changed.. yest wore that shirt.. it's quite tight n it's no longer fitting.. kuay chap 2dae wasnt as nice as it used to b.. guess some thgs are just meant to kept as memories..

agree with him that i've changed.. always thot that i've become more cheerful.. guess it's right for him to say that i'm not really that happy.. there's always this thing thats lacking in my smile n in my laughter.. no matter how happy i'm with u guys.. there's still this little emptiness in me.. still need the love n care.. n the assurance that i have someone who truly loves me n will always b there for me..

hmm.. that makes me think of sth again.. no matter wad jc 8 of us end up in.. it doesnt really matter.. in the 1st place not all 8 of us will b in the same jc.. it's beta if most of us are in hc.. but even if i'm not gonna appeal to hc.. to me it doesnt really matter.. i don hafta see u guys in sch everyday.. it's like even if i'm in hc.. i will haf my classmates.. spend time with other pple.. n maybe we'll spend time tog onli during trg.. so wads the diff if i just meet u guys for trg? n we can still hang out tog.. as long as someone bothers to bring us back tog.. n like wad i always say.. even if we're not tog.. there's still this veri special bond betw us! so wads there to b afraid of n to b sad of?

someone asked.. wads so great abt running? izzit just running or the passion for running? aniwae.. track is not onli abt running.. it's the love we have for this sport that brot us tog.. n the teammates who make our passion for track grow.. okie.. at least thats wad i think.. sat trg was really like veri tough.. skip like quite a few trg.. n my fitness is like not up to the standard again.. could choose to just cut the workout.. but i finished it.. it's like i tell myself.. no way.. u're gonna finish it.. n it really feels great.. din go for thurs trg cuz i noe i'm not prepared for trg.. deep in me i really wanna spend more time with my classmates.. esp after reading mer's compo.. i noe there's no way i can train.. feeling bad abt it though.. can really feel how impt trg are..

i've nv been a veri outstanding athlete like u guys.. i dunno how much i can contribute to hc track.. after so many yrs being like the 4th in the event.. n it was just really lucky for me to make it to nat's n to make it for 7th position each year.. i noe i've worked hard for it.. but w/o the luck.. would it b me?

guess i'm gonna end here.. feel free to give me advices k pple.. yep.. love u guys! feel so lucky to noe u pple..

girl, you gotta have attitude
8:50:00 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2004

okie.. this is gonna b a long entry..

hmm.. thot of lotsa stuff just now.. thotful day again.. yep.. had been like frenship week n v-dae n stuff.. hmm.. dunno if there's a connection.. but well.. like having some 'weird' feelings again.. well.. this time at least not those saddening stuff.. guess i've like more or less gotten over with him.. yep.. shared abt sth that symbolises frenship.. told my fren abt the heart.. was thinking of the 8 of us.. really dunno wads happening to us.. always felt that even though we're at diff jc.. known more frens n stuff.. 8 of us still haf this special bond.. really dunno if u guys are feeling the same way.. it's like we'll get to noe more pple.. but as long as deep in us we still rmb one another.. it's like already gd enuff.. we don hafta always spend time tog or wad.. though i really hope we can.. all the frenship these yrs.. really thot we'll cherish this special frenship betw us.. n really understand one another..

noe during the sharing 2dae.. my partner was saying she view frenship as fire.. okie.. all the norm stuff like warmth n stuff.. was quite okie till she talked abt frenship is like fire cuz sometimes ur fren will hurt u or betray u.. was quite upset when i heard that.. it's like i always felt that frens are like such nice pple u haf with u.. it's like y will anyone haf such a bad impression of a fren.. oh well.. i really dunno how some pple feel when they hurt someone close to them.. i'm not trying to imply anythg in this blog.. but i really hope all those who are reading this will like spend some time to think abt wad frenship means to them..

haven been going back trg for few days.. feeling bit odd though.. although i'm having lotsa fun with my classmates in sa.. i still wanna be with u guys.. it's like all the pple are different.. n trackers always give me this veri special feeling.. it's like the way we support each other during comp n stuff.. it's like u guys are really those i'm so close to n really depend on.. u guys are always there for me in some way.. yep.. i'm like quite happy now being single.. but really miss the time when i can hug someone n just not think of anythg.. the security n warmth.. n i noe he will always b there for me.. n jiayi.. i will rmb the hug i promise u~ yep.. still rmb the feeling when u just hug me during nat's.. when i was really so tired n feeling so xinku.. okie.. i think i really miss all the competitions.. for some reasons...

saw this mail that day.. dunno how true issit.. but well.. supposedly i've like experienced how issit like to love someone.. so now i'm like waiting to meet someone who will really love me? okie.. sounds quite crap.. guess now i'm like feeling bit insecure for some reason.. weird.. just that little bit of coldness again.. haix.. if onli my tagboard can work.. at least u guys can leave some messages for me.. ting~ u can always sms me! hahaha.. there's always this angel n mortal feeling.. n there's this special bond betw us cuz of pooh i think! hee.. just hope every batch will haf someone who's crazy over pooh.. hmm.. dunno if gav is reading this.. but well.. it's a nice thg when i see pooh n think of u guys..

yep.. saw some real life stories 2dae which were so touching.. was at my uncle's wake just now.. this grp of nurses n staff from nkf came.. we were like really so touched.. they took time off to just come down.. it's like i could feel the passion they had for the job n for helping pple.. it's not like just any job to them.. but it's like helping pple.. oh well.. i'll become a psychologist or occupational therapist one day! yep.. n i realise how much pain my aunt is going thru.. her children are like not understanding all the stuff she's going thru.. like take her for granted.. dont understand her at all.. n hurting her so much.. really hope that after all these stuff that happened.. they will like appreciate wad my aunt is doing for them.. yep aniwae.. quite upset that i made my dad wait for me 2dae.. felt quite bad.. haix.. really miss korkor.. just wish that he can b here with us.. has been like such a long time since we go out with our parents n really spend time with them.. n quite saddening that i always say i wanna go overseas to study.. it's like i wont b here with my parents.. guess they wish that i can stay here also.. hmm.. maybe i shld just study occupational therapy at nyp..

just felt that in our lives.. there are lotsa pple who love us.. n sometimes we don even realise it.. n even mistaken them.. worse still hurt them.. u nv noe how much sth u said will hurt someone.. do not just say wads in ur mind when u're really angry with someone.. yi4 shi2 de qi4 hua4 may just lead to really bad consequences.. yep.. guess i've more or less said wad i wanna say.. just hope u guys will think abt all these.. n show those pple u love that u care for them.. show those who love u that u appreciate wad they are doing for u.. rmb how we light up each other lives like how the heart glow in the dark.. aniwae.. to remind u guys.. u pple are like really veri special frens of mine.. thanks.. yep.. n i love u guys always!

girl, you gotta have attitude
8:06:00 PM

Monday, February 16, 2004

passion for running~

just came back from the doc.. super upset loh.. started from this trip to the hilltop for lunch.. was like so hyper as norm.. n like wad crap twisted my ankle when i came down the steps! mama.. y u pass the lousy ankle genes to me le.. hahaha.. brother pray hard u din get the genes k.. was like so pathetic.. no ice or wad.. hahaha.. had this st john guy ard though.. was thinking of the times when we went to staff room or sth to get ice.. den like all kpo-ing see wad happen.. den like trying to do sth to help.. miss u guys man.. n with all the piggyback.. dunno how to spell.. but well.. u get the idea.. was like so paiseh to let a guy carry me lah.. hahaha.. but like so super sad.. cant run x-ctry le.. initially thot my stoopid idea can work.. that is to pray veri veri hard that i recover.. but aniwae my dad din allow me to run on wed cuz macritchie is too dangerous.. well.. maybe it's fated den i cant run.. but the other side of the story.. i beta take gd care of my ankle so that i can get back to trg!! trg is more impt den x-ctry man.. crap loh.. like finally getting back fitness le n cant train again!!!

hmm.. the sad part is that daddy is too busy to bring me to see senseh.. haix.. alfie bring me there!! okie.. no connection.. but that time i brot u there wad.. haix.. den had to go to this lousy doc outside my hse.. cuz daddy CLAIMS that it's the same.. so lousy loh.. he just like lift up my leg.. den press press a bit.. den say gimme medicine.. n like wad the coaches say.. don take painkiller.. so i ended up with this thg thats supposed to relief the swell.. sianed.. like who cares how big my ankle is.. i just wan it to recover.. aniwae.. that time my knee thg the doc wrap till like nobody's business.. thot this time he'll do sth.. but he just left my ankle lidat!! haix.. i miss the smelly chinese medicine loh.. called my dad n the best thg he said was.. come home n wrap myself!! like y do i hafta go see doc.. if this can help.. my ankle would have recovered le loh.. haix.. n i think being a doc is like so shuang.. press a bit.. gimme mc n medicine.. n earn money..

i noe i shldnt b complaining.. but i'm like quite pissed off.. wad crap!!! okie aniwae.. i think i can onli go back to ny to train weights.. as usual.. haha.. n i'm not going to train my right leg again.. also dunno wad i can do.. sian!! hmm.. so now i can onli go down to support x-ctry.. u guys beta run well loh! hahaha.. cuz i'll b there screaming n cheering for u guys.. n for the wc.. i got nth to say lah.. hahaha.. try to walk faster? now i cannot even b in the wc loh! wad crap.. i think i can b our class mascot le.. lolx.. aniwae trackers, u guys jiayou k.. haha.. i'll b there supporting u all also.. just hope i can get back to trg asap.. so sad that i cant go for sat's trg.. miss macritchie trg.. okie.. noe that's like quite siao.. but it's like when i cant do all the stuff.. i start to think of the times we had.. was quite a nice time.. haha..

lalaala.. wads so great abt running?? u nv noe till u go thru all the thgs.. doink*.. okie.. i dunno wad rubbish i'm talking abt now.. but track is such a great sport.. trains us physically n mentally.. train us to b determined n persevere.. n track is a team sport! where pple support one another.. no matter how tough thgs may seem.. we'll always b able to make it.. n hurdlers are nv afraid of obstacles! hee.. okie.. i sound like some snr promoting track to the sec ones.. hee.. i really think i'm mad lah.. someone save me!!!

okie.. time to eat my dinner.. haha.. shall stop all these nonsense here.. really miss u guys!! ahhh.. can the 8 of us go out one day.. n just now talking abt going out after x-ctry.. thot of prata hse.. we were supposed to go there last yr or sth.. i thot.. haha.. n how we ran tog, talked n cheered along the way.. n all the fun we had walking from nat stadium to suntec.. okie.. i'm going mad.. yeah~ sph is coming.. hope to see u guys.. n we'll b going back to ny side again.. hahah.. comp is always so fun.. i wan the team sajc shirt..

hmm.. i'll shut up now.. hee..

girl, you gotta have attitude
6:09:00 PM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

darlings reading my blog.. hope all of u had a great time yest! hahaz.. yep.. had a great time yest.. quite sad that i was sick.. but well.. all the love had made me sort of recover.. haha.. was nice meeting up with u guys at kap in the morn.. though sad to say jiayi didnt inform the rest.. the 8 of us really hafta go out 1 day.. aniwae.. was quite a nice time there wrapping presents for the jnrs.. haha.. those i brot to turf city was just nice for them.. heng.. yep aniwae.. quite sad that i cant go trg.. beginning to like trg more.. hahaa.. n we're gonna beat the SA trackers.. haha.. wanna faster recover!! so sian loh.. always train den sick den cannot train.. aniwae.. i think the jnrs did well in x-ctry yest.. esp c div.. oh well.. i was slping after the start of c div..

aniwae after all the stuff at turf city.. went down to marina to meet classmates.. haha.. i think our class has got 2 types of pple.. either come too early or too late.. lolx.. went to eat some steamboat thgie.. haha.. actually quite nice to go out with guys also.. at least they'll help to do some stuff.. haha.. nvm lah.. when the 8 of us go out there's always mama.. oh well.. back to the thg.. haha.. it's like there's this hotplate thg n soup.. den we were like cooking n eating.. not v full though.. but it's quite a nice thg.. haha.. other den getting oil all over me lah.. yep.. n we were quite li hai in using tissue.. haha.. finished my whole pack of pooh tissue yest.. supposed to b for me to use to blow my nose.. but nvm.. n after all the eating.. dunno who started taking 'couple' foto.. n dunno wad happened i got involved also.. but it was quite fun lah.. haha.. n with all the sabo-ing n bargaining..

was quite upset that parents was so angry with me yest.. cuz i was like sick n supposed to go back earlier.. but hang out so late there.. felt so bad abt it.. but well.. was quite touched when i read all those sms my classmates sent.. so sweet.. if not for all the sad thgs.. maybe i wouldnt noe how sweet they can b.. yep.. n the singing session was so nice also.. haha.. though i off form yest.. some of u can sing quite well sia.. okie.. actually i don think any of my classmates is reading this.. nvm.. haha.. i miss CHAOS.. hahahah.. last time we're like always singing songs non stop kind.. like just one after the other.. dunno y yest cannot think of many songs to sing.. haha.. n kiaying seems to always noe the lyrics.. yep.. n i'm enjoying my mp3 now.. cant beat jiayi's cd loh.. so sweet.. n yest someone suggested the love u song.. like so sweet.. hahaha.. anwiae some guys there can sing quite well also loh.. nice voice too.. hahaha.. but dunno if they can play guitar like the Mr Angel.. hahah.. nvm.. i believe there's still hope for such guys in SA.. get him to sing the ah ma song.. hee..

came online hoping that i can chat with someone.. but like not much hope.. no love 2dae feel so sick.. hahaha.. been blowing my nose so hard having headache now.. sianed.. think after lunch take medicine n slp.. just hope i can finish my hw 2nite.. n brother, SA is slack but still got hw wan lah.. haha.. yep aniwae.. i'm so excited to write an entry here..

v-dae has been so nice with u guys ard.. though i'm single.. but well.. feels more like i'm attached to a lot of pple.. hahaha.. no special guy gave me anythg.. but well.. tts not the pt.. haha.. oh.. n i'm convinced that SA has all the filtered off chi high.. haha.. cuz the 2 i noe are like quite nice.. nvm lah.. guess those in hc are improving after all the suaning.. hahahaa.. ya.. n i'm convinced that ahem is not that great afterall.. noe i shldnt b comparing.. but well.. more comforting in a way.. quite happy that i'm like sort of getting over it le.. mayb it's cuz of those nice guys in SA.. yep.. think this time is like not that cham... it's really the right time i think.. aniwae.. just hope that he's happy with her..

hey pple, feel the love from frens n family.. n stay happy always~ love u guys always!

treasure the ones close to u and love u, for they are the best in your world..

girl, you gotta have attitude
12:37:00 PM

Sunday, February 08, 2004

my tag board simply refuse to work! someone help me..

girl, you gotta have attitude
8:47:00 PM

hey pple.. i shall update my blog.. haha.. in case my pond dries up.. (wads the connection?)

hmm aniwae.. life in sa have been great.. getting to noe my classmates beta.. they are like this whole lot of fun n interesting pple.. hahaha.. yep.. basically our class is like crazy over carrom n bball.. haha.. having lotsa fun each day in sch.. n yest we had a class outing to the bball court.. haha.. n dinner at AV.. we just ate a lot at AV.. i spent 10 bucks there.. the 4 of us ordered food each n shared 60 satays.. hahah.. which means 6 bucks each on satays.. don wish to comment on that.. aniwae among us.. there were 2 monsters who really eat A LOT.. scary man.. n i'm like supposed to hang out more with them so that i'll eat more n gain weight.. hahaha.. aniwae i'm 45 now! so excited when i took my wt during pe that day.. hahaha.. but it's like so long nv see an increase in wt le.. maybe i shld just stay at sa n continue putting on weight.. hahaha..

yeah.. v day is coming~ wad plans do u guys haf ar? btw, can the 8 of us go out tog? haha.. since most of us got no date.. really miss the times when we hang out tog.. it's always a few pple missing.. aniwae.. we'll confirm again k?

just now really miss sch.. hahaha.. it's like all these yrs.. onli now in sa i will miss sch loh.. normally will like dying for weekend to come.. but now weekdays are like much more interesting den weekends.. at least i get to be with pple.. having fun n doing stuff.. okie.. i study too! hahaha.. although we're quite slack.. n hey.. it's not onli sa is slacking.. rj also wad.. hahaaz.. it's like 2dae is the onli day i'm not in sch.. yest was like practically another sch day.. cant wait to go sch tmr.. mad.. guess i'm lucky to have interesting classmates who make my stay in sa such an enjoyable one.. reminds me of pri sch days when there are guys ard.. n ya.. the bball craze also..

yep.. guess thgs are getting on quite alright for me.. n hope it is the same for u guys too.. don get too stressed over hw brother.. hmm.. the rest i also dunno how are u guys getting on.. but well.. take care k? actually i think i'm like quite lucky.. unhappy thgs happened.. but as they are happening.. there are other stuff that distract me.. n helped me out.. so i managed to pull thru =) yep.. n now i'm like always cheerful.. hoping that i'll make others happy too.. like wad jx always says.. love nv fails.. love is all ard.. just hope everyone feels the love and warmth given out by our frens.. yep.. although i'm not always with u guys.. but just rmb i'm always thinking of u all.. leave me a msg or sth if u can k?

hmm.. n i realise guys can b veri emotional too.. haha.. okie.. no connection..

girl, you gotta have attitude
8:33:00 PM

Monday, February 02, 2004

In Difficult Times, Don't Lose Hope
Tough times come to everyone
because life always has its ups and downs.
Amidst the turmoil and the storm,
all we can do is to hold on strong.
Don't lose hope, just give it some time
and I know you'll reach the other side...
Where the sun is shining
and the picture is clear,
Where the dawn is breaking
and a new day is near.

So though things may look cloudy,
it's only for a while.
For there's a light shining
at the end of this tunnel,
And I know that you've got wad it takes
to endure till you reach a bright new day.
I know that you're strong
and I believe in you
and I'm standing right beside you
with my thoughts and prayers.
-Yvonne L.

girl, you gotta have attitude
6:27:00 PM

saw sth which i really don wish to see.. but i can nv avoid.. i wanted to run away from reality.. but how long can i run.. one day i'll have to face it.. n 2dae is the day.. guess i shld b glad abt it.. didnt wanna believe wad i saw.. but it was reality.. it's a painful truth i guess.. i felt just so down n so lost.. there was no one to accompany me.. i had to find the strength.. the thought of giving up came along.. i was just abt to break down.. someone distracted me.. someone guided me home.. helped me up.. someone gave me hope.. gave me the strength i wanted.. i can really feel the difference in me.. i can feel that someone is with me all these while..

guess all these seems like it's in a mess.. yep.. but it doesnt really matter.. just felt that it's quite similar to wad i read on jingxuan's blog the other day.. it's the strength someone gave it to u.. u just noe it's not wad u're capable of doing.. but someone made it all possible.. brother, guess ur blog serves its purpose.. though i dont follow all the entries..

it's all the stuff i noe.. but they just slipped my mind.. guess thats y we haf pple in our lives to remind us.. and to refresh our memories.. yep.. thgs are always changing.. if we look at the past for too long.. we might not b able to catch up with the change.. n we might just find it so hard to accept.. i noe i have to move on.. n the onli way to do so is to get over with the past.. i dunno how i am going to do it.. but i noe i will b able to do it eventually.. sometimes it's so scary how much someone changes.. yep.. maybe some stuff are meant to b kept as memories..

it's my life.. and i am to decide where i'm heading to.. there are bound to b obstacles along the way.. but hurdler do not fear any obstacle along the way.. yep.. i wasnt down.. i was just trying to get up.. n here i am.. i've got up n i am not gonna fall so easily.. just felt that my life is beginning to have more colours.. it's having more meaning now.. though it's still bit messy..

btw, the 8 of us really gotta go out tog one day.. if it turns out to b v-dae.. well.. it's not that sad afterall.. so wad if we dont spend it with guys.. aniwae i don think i even wanna spend it with any other guys.. cuz i think it's really meaningful to spend it with u pple.. i nv noe wad v-dae means until u guys enlightened me.. all the little gifts we get for one another.. the smiles on our faces.. rmb last yr the glow-in-the-dark heart? when everythg seems dark.. there's always one of us ard to light thgs up again..

really miss u guys.. n i mean snrs jnrs n all from ny track.. haha.. talked to yamei yest.. like so long nv chat with her le.. lalaala~ still feel so nice talking to her.. n like so long nv meet up with the supposed 'J1 snr'.. thats wad i rmb them as actually.. cuz it was like when we were sec 1.. den they came along as the J1 snrs.. so happy to see beelan that day.. hmm.. think all of us like getting old le.. haha..

long essay 2dae also.. maybe cuz too long nv update le.. hmm.. not a veri gd thg to do.. but well.. it's always that sudden urge when i haf lotsa thots coming up.. haha.. okie.. time for a gd wash now.. wash away all the unhappy stuff n get ready for work! okie.. last thg i gotta do here.. gonna type some really nice stuff.. just hope u guys will think abt it.. it's really nice to read it when u're feeling down.. i mean when u're trying to get up.. so well.. keep in somewhere in ur mind k~ love ya guys!

girl, you gotta have attitude
6:23:00 PM

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